Friday, March 02, 2007

Waiting for the other shoe to drop: a slow day

Daubentonia madagascariensis
David Seaton's News Links
I'm glad I don't have to meet any deadlines today. I have been patrolling the net, making my daily tour d' horizon/fishing trip, looking for interesting articles and I have come up dry as a bone.

Everything, from global warming through a stock market crash to a war with Iran is about to happen... but hasn't happened just yet. And there isn't even a new thing just about to happen that hasn't happened yet... yet... Not even a juicy "think piece". Everybody seems to have done there thinking yesterday or are planning on thinking tomorrow.

You may be wondering why I have featured a photograph of this hideous little lemur called the "Aye-Aye", which like so many of us, is in danger of extinction, in order to illustrate this post. I can only answer your curiosity with the following story:
A non-denominational, whitebread, shit kicking, Christian Zionist, neocon, ├╝ber-Goy, from way down home, was visiting Jerusalem, hoping that the world would come to an end, and he happened to wander into the ultra-orthodox, Mea Sharim neighborhood.

In case the "end of days" didn't come first, the rustic Republican was looking at his watch, just to make sure he'd be back at his hotel in time for lunch, when he discovered that the battery of his watch had gone dead. Naturally he looked around for somewhere to get a new battery, but since all of the signs were in Yiddish written in Hebrew letters he was at a loss as to what to do. Then he saw a dusty, old shop window with many different clocks and watches of all sizes and shapes hanging in it, so he went in.

There was an old man with a long, white, beard sitting behind the counter reading a newspaper from right to left. He was decked out in full Hassidic regalia, complete with fur Shtreimel and full-length, black caftan. Our tourist cleared his throat and asked him, "Could y'all fix my watch for me, please?" Without looking up from his newspaper, the ancient Hassid replied "I don't fix watches. I'm a moile; I perform circumcisions." So the rube asked him, "Then why do y'all have all those clocks and watches hanging in your window?" The moile finally looked up from his newspaper, sighed and asked in turn, "So what you want I should hang in my window?" DS

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